These past couple days I’ve felt pretty down. I love social media, but it’s often deceiving. We forget that behind the cool photos is a human with problems and emotions. It’d probably be smarter to reach out to a friend or family member to talk, but I always worry about being a burden. Lee’s Lookbook mainly deals with self-improvement through fashion. At the same time it’s essential to feel as good on the inside as you look on the outside. Instead of suppressing my feelings like I normally do, I figured I would share it here as a reminder that we’re not alone.
I’ll be 26 next month (on Halloween if you were wondering) and I’m not where I thought would be in life. Life isn’t going as planned, but it still feels like it’s on the right path. At the same time, things are progressing slower than I would like so I can’t help, but focus on the negative. I know that sounds dumb, but I also know I’m not the only one that’s a little frustrated with their current situation.
I’m still living at home. I’ve never been in a relationship (fun fact: I’ve never been kissed either). I’m struggling to maintain my weight. And blogging hasn’t taken off. That all may sound trivial, but there are layers to each one of those issues. Back in college, this stuff used to tear me up, especially the dating part.
I’ve had a lack of confidence, because of my body issues for as long as I can remember. Somehow I’ve always been surrounded by athletes or people who are in great shape, which automatically made me feel inferior. I honestly felt like the fat, ugly (but stylish) guy of the friend group, which is why I stayed single.
Back then I had a love/hate relationship with the bars. In the back of my head I always thought I would meet a girl, but that never happened. Every night was the same; it’d start off fun and end with me feeling lonely. I remember there would be nights when I would leave my roommates at the bars so I could have the house to myself. Being home alone was the perfect opportunity to harm myself. Through prayer and the support of my family and friends I was able to overcome feeling that depressed. However some of those demons still haunt me.
There are so many things that I want to do, but I probably spend about 25% of my day working towards those goals. I don’t work as hard as I should, because doing the work feels pointless sometimes. The important thing to realize is that everything happens for a reason and things get better. The obstacles we come up against teach us valuable lessons. Therefore, we can’t grow and improve without going through some hard times. I’m constantly checking my email hoping an opportunity will fall into my lap, but life doesn’t work that way. I’ve felt stagnant lately, but it’s a sign that I have to create my own opportunities instead of waiting for doors to open. “Dreams don’t work, unless you do.”
For any of you that are feeling down, just remember you’re not alone.